As I came to your world, I came home. I knew what it is to not be this name, this gender, this age. I knew what it was to not be defined by what I had done, by what I had seen and by those things I also had not done.
I felt the trepidation; I was scared yet I knew deep down ,these feelings were reflections and expressions, echo’s of my commitment to this work; a seriousness that was required to go deep and clean. I wanted to see, to know, to feel. I was challenged beyond belief; the spiritual amphitheatre I was shown into had all the characters and archetypes of the psyche. It could not have been more profoundly exact. A potent mix of characters designed to show up and show me up; where I closed, my fears, my darkest fears and then, the reasons beyond the mere feelings. This was work to be done; to move into the feeling and then move beyond it, penetrating it to shift the energy onwards and through. I was exhilarated; I knew I was in for a deep powerful time; if I were to be lucky and my work had been real, I may be gifted with some humour too along the way; but ultimately I was stepping onto the path to see who I was.
I was with you, birds, earth, nature, dogs, children and spirits as you crossed up and over me; I felt you all and It required a continuous process of not closing up to be able to stay close to you; too heavy and you disappeared, too light and I was not with you; it was a delicate dance of our spirits.
Each and every moment when fear gripped my heart; I breathed deep down in and around it and asked you what you wanted and what it was that you wanted me to see and to know.
Love is what I was shown. Over and Over. Love: I was shown Love.
I was shown I am Love. I was shown he is Love, that she is Love. I was shown all is Love and the rest is a conditioning that we may dispel. Everything is falsehoods and masks. We are all wearing them and I was shown beneath each and every mask to see our Love. Everything else is an attempt to hide and block it. I was shown that we are taught this to cover up our hearts.
I opened mine. I opened her over and over and over again and each and every time; I was shook deeply by how much Love she has and how much more she is capable of. She does not stop and she will not stop. This is not her. Each and every time, I was taken to another layer of Love and asked to examine it; could I see it was me and could I see she was me. We are the Love. We are the Medicine. We are the healers. We are the Love. No-one else. They may teach us ways, methods and techniques; we are learned to calm our minds and heed our thoughts, not to follow each emotion, but all of those things are ways to bypass the defaults.
There is another way. A quicker, faster, and more genuine way. To just stop. Stop and Be the Love.
I saw the process of illectulization that we do in Love; A never ending ongoing interpretation of what is going on moment to moment, a living out of what is happening and occurring, as we shift each living moment from the heart to the head.
I was taken on journey after journey; I was asked to run with her and match her speed with mine; I was asked to not give up, to go as deep as I could and then go some more. She was going to come with me and would make sure i wouldn’t get lost. She loved me and embraced me as I never felt. She showed me the ways each time and then asked me to follow myself; to go where I went and to not look back; to just go. To ride the journey out.
She nourished me when I tired, lifted my spirit when I feared I couldn’t go more and she encouraged me to go further. It became her mantra to me; go go go. Her love grew fiercer when she felt I could handle things by myself and she pushed me harder; l always felt her love and presence but with a detachment; a fiercely loving mothers pride of watching her young grow. She was watching my passage to the other shore as my consciousness expanded to incorporate, within my being, that nothing ‘out here’ matters; there is life beyond this one form. I was challenged to remain in conscious connection with her; the unmanifested, Divine, Source; She has many names but she belongs to us all.
She asked me to trust, trust as never before , to step into the way of my heart. TO surrender to the wisdom of my heart and to take refuge in the loving centre within. She showed me the ways that the past becomes so entangled in the present and the ways that the present becomes so enmeshed with the present. She asked me to let go of anything that was not here right now, happening in this moment and train with all my heart. Anything else is not needed. For one day, I will cease to be this thinking mind, yet I shall always be this loving heart.
I was blown away by the sense of sacredness ; in complete awe, for the depth of my feeling. She showed me this ritual I was within is a training ground to see beneath, to feel beneath and to become the love that we ultimately are; we are worthy; we are all worthy of love and we are all deserving of love, we deserve to be here, and the need is great for us to be all here. We may lose our way, some for longer periods of time than others but to deeply respect all that walk this earth allows all to find their way back to themselves.
During my time with her I repeated over and over again the following;
I’m Sorry. Please Forgive me. Thank You. I Love You.
There was no order, i’m not sure if this is how I repeated it but I felt each and every sentence deeply echoing in me; it felt like my heart was going to explode in the uttering of some. I could feel the difference frequencies that were being activated within me with the different phrases. Oddly, I’m quite sure that some of the work I did with this four phrases were not only for me; there was something larger at play. During this time in reflecting on my experience, I remembered these phrases are said to ‘belong’ to the ancient Hawaiian mantra of “Ho’oponopono”. I read the history and philosophy of Ho’oponopono some years ago but I didn’t find it resonated with me, yet now, I feel called to look into it again some more, if only to awaken those same feelings I touched.
My work now is a grateful return to this earthly place, an on-going commitment and desire to integrate what I experienced during those ascending states of consciousness from the plant plane!
I would like to express my deepest love, respect and friendship to Orion Gomez, founder of psychotravels from Medellin-Colombia – a small community of beautiful people who after experiencing first hand the benefits of the plant medicine (ayahuasca), decided to offer support, guidance and an unravelling of the experience, as well as the transportation to be able to help others to experience this sacred ceremony.
Taita, (Shaman); your spirit was so very big and your spirit was so very bright; you looked after us all as your children. I felt your love and I felt your wisdom. You have visited that plane many times; I felt them welcome you as our guide with much respect and I felt you watching over us to ensure we all had safe passage.
If you are in or at some point in the future are traveling to Medellin-Colombia, please consider reaching out to Orion who is a beautiful companion on this plant journey (ayahuasca); As well as providing safe transportation from and to Medellin > Guarne; a small town approx 40 mins from Medellin where you arrive to the Taita’s house set within nature full of beautiful birds of paradise, parrots and even a large white rabbit running free, you will meet your Taita, a teacher of the indigenous culture of Putumayo. A truly grounding, humbling and genuine ayahuasca experience.
Love to you All.
Please feel free to get in touch in you have questions or something to share.
Orion Gomez can be reached on whatsapp at +57 300 7875253
at webpage: psychotravels.co